Submission…this is a word that has been under scrutiny and contention especially when it comes to marriage. Women are beginning to find the word derogatory and offensive especially with this new wave of women emancipation and empowerment going on all over the word. Women feel submission is taking away a woman’s rights, subjecting the woman to mistreatment, making her voiceless, making the woman unintelligent and taking the ability of the woman to think and make decisions for herself.
To some extent this seems to be true but the truth of the matter is that nobody forces you to submit, you totally decide on your own to do so. Submission has to do with your own will and decision to give up or abdicate your right to another person. It is you asking and accepting another person to be your head.
I will like to look at the dictionary meaning of the word submit which is the root word for submission
1. accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.
2. subject to a particular process, treatment, or condition.
3. present (a proposal, application, or other document) to a person or body for consideration or judgement.
From the above definitions we can see that to submit totally depends on you because you can decide not to. Submission is not by force, it has to do with your own will, that is why sometimes when we write exams, they ask us to submit our papers, it simply means on your own, with your own hand drop your paper when you are done or when your time is up. Nobody actually forces anyone to submit his or her exam sheet, you can actually decide not to submit it or even go home with it, it’s your choice, your decision and of course, your consequences.
The issue of submission in marriage has to do with a woman realising how strong she is, how powerful she is, how intelligent, rich, exposed, spiritual is and deciding to willingly give it all up to a man. Submission is saying I may have a better knowledge of something, I may be stronger than you are or even have a better sense of judgment, but I am going to let you take the lead.
Why do we even need to submit to a man you may ask?
Answer: because he is privileged to be given the mantle of leadership by God!
Genesis 3:16 (KJV)
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
This was one of the punishments given to the woman after the fall, that is establishing the man’s rulership and mantle of authority over her. The New Living Translation made that verse so interesting:
Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
It says the woman will desire to control her husband but unfortunately the mantle of rulership is the man’s.
Check out English Standard Version:
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”
It’s basically saying, yes you are going to have conflicting ideas, desires, feelings etc but your husband’s desire or decision is what should be followed! You may have a superior knowledge on a matter but once your husband says no, then the decision is no.
This is the true gospel, pure and simple!
The devil played on Eve’s intelligence and talked her into taking a decision on behalf of the man and she did! Ideally, if Eve has understood the place of Adam’s rulership in her life, she would have asked him what his opinion was on the serpent’s analogy instead of taking a decision for the family.
Having established the fact that the man has the upper hand in marriage, what then should the woman do?
1. Be very very sure before you say I do to a man. Find out if he has what it takes to be a good head, if he can make and take good decisions concerning your home, because you are about to give up your right of ownership and decision making to the man.
2. Pray for your husband constantly, invoking the seven spirits of God upon him daily using this powerful scripture in Isaiah 11:2
The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of might,
the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD.
A man with the 7 spirits of God is least likely to lead you astray.
Pray more for your husband’s leadership in the home more than you want to make your points heard in an argument. These days a lot of women have so intimidated men with their aggressiveness that men seem to be crawling into a shell and yet we complain that we can’t find a real man! There’s no real man! It only takes a real woman who knows her place and stays there to make a real man. When you drag a man’s position with him, he may eventually leave it for you and you run into difficulties. Stay on your job and let him do his. Be the best support system you can be for him.
So dear wife, in that argument that it seems you both can’t reach a compromise, your husband’s privileged right has automatically won it to his favour, let it go.
Submission is your right, you make the decision who to give it to or who not to give it to. If you must follow God’s way, you MUST give it to your husband. It is better not to have a christian wedding than having one and refusing to abide by its rules or selecting the ones that suits us, because having a christian wedding is saying I completely agree to all terms and conditions.